Someone mentioned that they had practiced since the 1970's and thought by now they would be opened hearted and live in the light. No one ,but saints live in the light all the time.This is a "DUAL" universe and on this plane we sometimes have an open heart and other times it is closed. That we notice is the miracle and keep up our loving kindness and forgiveness practice as the most important. Working on one self will keep the heart open longer and longer,but we all have "karma" to work out, so some of us take longer,but i promise you it works if we practice daily. Most of us that practice when looking back over the years will see a difference. The Dali Lama told stephen and me that he has practiced since he was 4 and still has anger,anxiety and of course one of the most loving human on the planet.Practice works,but it is also intention and daily that makes the difference. I would suggest we all do some service, if you think your heart needs help and this will also build see esteem. SORRY MY SPELL CHECKER ISNT WORKING AGAIN LOVE TO ALL -TREASURE OURSELVES drea

This is not an apology but a search for an apology. I have been deeply influenced by Stephen since he began teaching in the early 70's. I was 24 then and now i am 64 and feel that although i have taken his teachings to heart and done the very best i have been able to do, i feel like i have failed in so many ways. i have made the 'choiceless choice' to be an artist because for a number of reasons it was and still is my dharma. but because of this and my lack of business acumen, i have always and still do live 'on a wing and a prayer'. i have not been able to make enough money to live on and have been without a close relationship for 7 years. i terribly miss being close to someone i love and who loves me. my heart is aching like never before. it just doesn't seem to get easier even though i 'know' the teachings well. so i guess i am putting this out as a way to try and apologize to myself for being so terrifically imperfect and try again and again to forgive myself for so much failure in my life. when i was in my 20's, i naively thought that if i practiced what Stephen and other authentic teachers said that surely by this time in my life i would be living in a state of clear love. but it didn't work out that way.

WE ALL MISS THE MARK, AT TIMES ,WITHHOLDING OUR LOVE TO GAIN CONTROL. IT IS NEVER TOO LATE TO TELL YOUR CHILDREN, YOU ARE DEEPLY SORRY,AND WHY THEY ARE SPECIAL TO YOU.(remember this isn't about you or your hurt feelings,so keep you out of this talk) YOU'RE CHILDREN LOVE YOU ,AT THE DEEPEST LEVELS AND IN TIME,MOST WILL COME BACK IN YOUR LIFE, IF YOU KEEP TRYING AND ARE DEEPLY SINCERE. WE NEVER FORGIVE THE ABUSE,BUT WE CAN SOMETIMES, FORGIVE THE ACTOR,THAT WE ALL ARE AT TIMES..THIS IS FOR US , BECAUSE WE DON'T MOVE ON, UNLESS WE FORGIVE AND THIS DOSENT MEAN WE CONDON ABUSE,BUT TO FORGIVE IS TO LET GO OF OUR PAST AND LIVE IN THE NOW,WITH LOVE

I am sorry for the judgment I placed on my son’s partner. I am sorry that in a crucial time I was not able to hear my son’s pain and the pain of his partner. I am sorry I took sides. I am sorry for any pain my thoughts, words and actions caused both of them and their relationship. I am so sorry. I am deeply sorry for any time I failed to love them.

I’m sorry to my children for leaving them. I regret that I paraded my gains in front of them over the years while they lost. For that, I lost the close bond with my one and only daughter. I am sorry for all the forgivenesses that were offered to me that I wasted until they ran out. I think my promises that still go unfulfilled are the most hurtful for me and them. I have no wisdom to change, to let go or to correct the situation. I am sorry.

I apologize to my twin daughters for bringing you in to the world without first having dealt with my own childhood trauma. It prevented me from being fully present for you, and I know I caused you great harm. I did my best, very much alone, to provide for you and to nurture your immense creativity, but I know that I fell short in so many ways. I apologize especially for your teenage years when I lost you to addiction and a world of hurtful people. I tried, over and over again, to help you, but you fought me so hard, and I was naïve and blind about everything that was going on. I didn’t know what to do, and I didn’t know to seek out help for myself in the midst of my intense grief and pain. I am grateful now that, after 15 hard years, you are both making your ways in the world, finding recovery and community. I hope that you can forgive me. And hope that I can, someday, find a way to forgive myself. I love you both very much, and I am truly sorry.

For many, many years it has felt impossible to fully articulate may failure out of paralyzing fear. It is because being perfect is the only safety I feel because I have had such a fragile ego at times. To be free now I can say that I did a poor job and it resulted in pain for me and others. It isn’t my sole responsibility and the feeling like it is, is why it is so hard to take responsibility for my part. I am sorry for what I did and being afraid to correct it for fear of looking weak. Being weak equals life threatening in my mind. I am sorry for the impact it had. I pray that I will be protected from harm so that I can apologize and be in peace. I ask for forgiveness and to be released from suffering. Thank you.

I am sorry that I cannot let my parents into my life. The thought of it, energetically repels me. I just feel cold and numb towards them. I know it would make them happy. I know they felt they did their best and that it was enough. Please forgive me.

I am so sorry, my beloved son, for bringing you into this world and then not knowing how to help you in your times of need. My logical mind knows that I can't possibly know everything and that I have done so much. Yet, I would do anything for you. I will do anything for you. I am so sorry that I knew to focus on prayer and healing for you much more often . . . but I didn't always do it. I knew you needed this from me consistently, despite whatever you might have said. I did willingly give these gifts, but I didn't do all I was called to do. May your beautiful, amazing soul forgive me. And now, I pray that your life is and will be all you have dreamt of it being and more. In this moment when you are in another city for some days, hopefully well, happy, laughing, and healing, I pray that your mind, your soul, and your body are transformed and that a new path of health and happiness shines brightly before you. I hold in my sight the clarity that your life, and our lives together, are all your dad and I hoped for when we saw you . . . you generous, kind, insightful, and tender-hearted being . . . for the very first time. Thank you to any who may read this for your generous heart and listening.

I am so sorry for slipping into toxic eating patterns again, have been lying around all weekend, back out, needing to detoxify, yet there is childish rebellion that just wants to stuff my face with sweets, that wants to stamp out beauty, comfort, and creativity. I apologize to the part of me that sincerely wants health, energy, and beauty. I send my appreciation, love and good wishes to our dear Ondrea now and always.

I am sorry to myself for having no self worth and self confidence to remain married to a man I disliked. I deserved better and I apologize to my great potential. I failed myself.

I am no longer sorry. I was sorry about nearly everyting. I am only sorry about that. This feeling did hurt me my intire life. What I found finally is love everywhere. And I found as well some heroes I can looking up: Tenzin Palmo, Alice Herz-Sommer, Pattie Smith, Ondrea Levine. These women teached me about living a life in love. Pure and unconditional love. Thank you all. Thank you. Anna.

I try to remember the truth of things. I still miss your voice, your face and the way you used to comfort and laugh with me. I am sorry things are so hostile now and I want to disarm each other from fear and frustration. Our connection is damaged and I miss what we had, in whatever form it was. I regret not being able to maintain it and not being able to understand things. Dear Ondrea, I send you my comfort and thoughts during your loss and grieving. Thank you.

I am sorry my precious son for not knowing how to take care of you when suddenly you were in a manic mental state after cocaine abuse, we took you to the place we tought would be best for your recovery, and it wasnt you were misstreated, and I ask forgiveness for that choice, I love you with all my heart

I am so sorry that i unloaded my grief on you when you didn't deserve that at all. I know that it sent you into withdrawal and i feel very badly about that. You are a wonderful person and only love should come your way. I pray that you can not carry pain from that time.

I am ready to stop being sorry about our confrontation. You know I work in mental health. I can't help but wonder if you are really who I think you are. Are you in Miami? If so, then I am who you think I am. Let me know if it is really you. I have been wondering for so long and fearful to find out if it is you. My fear is that you are who I think you are here in Miami, but a part of me hopes you are from somewhere else in the world and that I have imagined it was you all along. Please reply so I can face this demon if I need to.

I have plenty to apologize for, especially knowing what I should always be doing to develop my spirit over my body/mind, but not always acting on it. But right now, just after hearing of Stephen's death and watching Ondrea's stunning and beautiful video, I apologize for not staying in better touch, and send compassion, love, and whatever joy I can muster to S and to O, Dear Heart Teachers...

I'm sorry I didn't tune into my love for you but rather into my own hurt and abandonment. If I could change it, could go back into the past and act out of the love, I would. But I can't. Please forgive who I was and how hurtful his actions were to you.

I have plenty to apologize for, especially knowing what I should always be doing to develop my spirit over my body/mind, but not always acting on it. But right now, just after hearing of Stephen's death and watching Ondrea's stunning and beautiful video, I apologize for not staying in better touch, and send compassion, love, and whatever joy I can muster to S and to O, Dear Heart Teachers...

dear ondrea, i apologize to enter into your life via this apology board i never met you or stephen but i do have a picure of both of you together, smiling to me on my working desk. several times a day i look into your faces and you are apparently telling me, that i should always and under any circumstances appreciate life and not to be afraid of dying one day because death is just part of life. i love you both from the bottom of my heart.