I am sorry that in my fear of connecting and "not doing it right. My fear caused me to lie to you. I hurt and caused you to back off and not trust me with your emotions. I have put a wedge in a new relationship and I am so sorry. I hope you can really forgive me. I pray that you will trust me again as I continue to intend to stay awake and keep my heart open to whatever it is we are to learn from one another. Thank you for giving me another chance to know you.

Many years ago you offered me e really warm and serious friendship and I respond in a lukewarm way which finally caused the end of our relation. Now I regret my behaviour - it is too late. You are very occupied with your illness and now longer interested in receiving my feelings. I apologize and feel so very sorry because now I am able to give You my sincerest compassion. But my daily prayers and my love for you will continue.

i saw the apology that said someone was sorry, for not speaking up when bullies calling names and being cruel made the child leave school. I had the same expierence and now in my fiftys, i still feel the pain for not speaking up to the bullies that i saw to child from 4th grade till i graduated high school. I felt so bad for the other child ,but didn't have the courage to say a word. I still pray for the child,who is now my age that he or she may know that they didn't deserve that pain and had a good life

I am so sorry that I never spoke up when my friends were mean to you. I watched - mute - when you walked by our "doors" at the highschool as they called you names - you even left our school because of it...I wish I had had the courage to speak up and tell them to stop and to just leave you be...I am sorry.

We were in New York City for an annual Christmas visit since you had been born there. This Christmas was trip was important and special, we felt, because the year preceding the trip had been so very difficult....you were only 12, and everything so far about the trip was perfect. When you got home you wrote an essay for school about Rockefeller Center and how beautiful it had been on our visit - just like you remembered it. It was snowing, and we went ice skating. We walked amidst the lit angels a little later. Christmas Carols were playing, snowflakes fell, we gazed up at the tree, and you leaned into my fur coat getting warm, feeling safe, you said, smelling my perfume, Chanel No. 5. You handed me this beautiful little essay for your 7th grade class and I remember looking at it, then editing it. I remember saying nothing to you, but "making it better." I never saw it again, and I believe you never turned it in. Darling Daughter, please forgive the cold heart that took that memory from you that day in such a souless and thoughtless manner. Please forgive me. It haunts me yearly and I beg your forgiveness for being such a cold heart.

I apology to myself for not knowing how to apologize, forgive and grieve. I want to do it right. Yet this need for perfect is how I created the circumstances of my life. I don't know how to jump out of this box. I was just working with Ondrea & Stephen's healing meditation on a physical injury and thought to come here in the midst of it. Soft, soften, allow, embrace as if you were your only child, notice whatever is there, nothing to be....this is so hard. It sometimes sounds like another planet. Yet my life depends on it. Physical, mental, heartfelt....it's all the same, yet separation is how I deal with what must be extreme terror of my world - sometimes it's so covered up that it is normal for me to go through the day like that....separated from others, separated from myself....fearful when I do rarely let the separation go and can be with another. The joy of it is not enough. It frightens me back to separation...even sometimes with my grandchildren, who are the joy of my life. Even with them, when I'm having fun, it feels like too much, too scary. Perhaps I'm afraid of the grief I would have to face if I realized life could always be joyful and that joy is always mine to choose, even when the circumstances feel awful. I pray for the strength and light and love to investigate my grief and to forgive myself and all those who hurt me and all those who will hurt me in the future. Thank you for this space, dear Ondrea $ Stephen. You've been in my life, daily, for over 25 years.

I am sorry for using sharp and judgmental words, for lashing out in anger; for not treating others with confidence and trust. These are the ways I was treated, and so I learned. I am sorry for not loving as fully as my spouse needs and deserves. I have never felt loved, and must find it difficult to feel safe doing so. For dismissing others, their opinions or feelings, at times when I judged their value. I am sorry to myself for believing the lies for so long that have told me that I am of no worth, for not taking care of myself emotionally or physically, for growing old and being sad all my days because I never learned to be good to me.

I'm sorry that I cannot find mercy for myself. So I often look for it in others. I feel flawed that I was not given this-that its not hard-wired where I can access it freely. Quan yin came to me one night and I layed in her lap while we watched me struggle with self rejection and she said "this too, perfect," Why isn't grace and mercy accessible when we need it most. I'm sorry I'm angry. I want you back beloved.

I wish it was possible to go back in time & protect & comfort my younger self. I am sorry nobody else did. I am sorry to have forgiven. I am sorry I can't show my true hurt. I am sorry I can't express my disappointment in broken people in a broken world. It seems it would only add more hurt.

I am sorry that you got hurt. I thought we did enough to keep you safe but it happened anyways. I am so sad that the abuse happened to you. You are such a great kid with so much potential. Do not let this steal your future. I am sorry we cannot talk. I will try to find you but am afraid I will not. I only hope and pray where you are now is softer and kinder and more loving because you deserve that and so much more. I send you love and light when ever I can. Good bye for now.

My dear and loved Ten year old boy - myself- my dear inner child. I want to apologise because it was not your fault that my aunt abused you sexually. I am so sorry that you were carrying this burden until now. I take over now and you please enjoy your forgotten childhood.

I have a sick feeling in my stomach as I say sorry to myself for all the times that, like a needy child, I sought love and approval from 'strong', charismatic and very hurtful willful women...terrified women who were controlling and cruel towards me because that is how they learned to survive their own harsh childhoods...abused, abandoned, bereaved. I am truly sorry for all the pain I've put myself through over the years, repeating a pattern, as I compulsively and unconsciously sought to repeat the same terrifying mother connection I'd experienced as a child. My own mother I forgive with all my heart for killing herself...for being so desperately needy of me when I was a child...for being cold and cruel to me and for expecting impossible strength to come through me since when I was small. She simply had far too much loneliness, cruelty, neglect and parental death to bear when she was growing up. I am deeply sorry to all those I've hurt through my own humanness and ignorance... knowingly and unknowingly...But wierdly I'm most sorry for all the hurt and cruelty I've inflicted on myself in my life. Thank you for offering this space for making amends...this has really helped me. God bless...

I have not allowed myself to be- I have hidden scared from closeness, not feeling good enough I have harshly judged myself, I have tolerated people in my life rather than enjoying them and I have felt guilty at loving those i have.I have neglected to tend to myself when I walked away from the love of my life 32 years ago as he did not love me...its not easy and I should not try to diminish what I did- it really hurts still every minute of every day without him but he is happy. I waste my life as i dont know how to incorporate my days without him in a useful way and I have not acknowledged my desire to be with people is strong and yet I dont feel worthy - I am distant from my kids as they are far too nice for me and I must apologise to myself for doing this and encourage myself to be warmer to them . I find this life so hard but dont feel worthy and so i find it tough to let go and accept forgiveness...I have become too hardened

I apologize for speaking without thinking, without censoring, resulting in pain for someone I love. Though unintended, my words carried meanings for which I was unaware. And in my attempt to use humor, I may have offended again. This is not what I wanted to bring to a celebration of love. I can only hope for forgiveness from those I hurt and look for a way to express forgiveness to those who hurt me.

I'm sorry for being ashamed of my pain. For not allowing myself to be loved because I was afraid of being humiliated for grieving. For being sad. Did I not see the suffering of the whole world? Did I only see predators? I meditated for 20 years on self doubt and shame, using this practice to only ingrain my low self worth. Wanting to jump over the pain and back into the arms of those moments where the gate swings freely.

I apologize deeply to myself for taking on way too much responsibility for how everyone around me is doing (my kids and husband especially). I don't know how to let go. It is too frightening for me at this point. I pray for the grace to allow me to let go and release the stress and burden I am carrying. Though I understand intellectually that I need to let go, I cannot seem to do it. I apologize to myself to judging myself with the ideas I'm not doing enough and I'm doing too much, both at the same time. I pray for healing and balance and release.

I am sorry that I never did conquer my fear of letting other people know me and letting myself be close. I missed so much in order to protect myself and ended up missing myself.

I'm sorry for abusing myself with sugar.

You were the only "true thing" I ever wanted - a happy, joyous sprite of a girl. We were bonded and so in love!! Having you as a late in life baby after years of being a professional in New York City - well, we had money, a happy family, love, grace, God, and above all, YOU! Then our world was turned upside down when Daddy started drinking again after ten years of sobriety. I was to fall in love with E, who became your stepdad, and we moved to another state. You started a new school in 5th grade. You saw your Dad once a month, and picking you up at the airport in Los Angeles all those months and years are some of the worst memories of my life. Your heart was hard, and my heart became equally hard. I was determined to make it all work. Even at the expense of our souls. Because E was a tyrant. I stayed long after I should have left. And you were front and center the conflict for seven years. You became unhappy, acted out with boys and drugs, and I became shrill and more hysterical, trying to keep a family together which, in retrospect, should never have been... I am so sorry, darling Daughter, for being too confused to make clear decisions. I am so sorry I exposed you to this man who hurt you so much. I am so sorry you had to see your beloved Mama hurt the way she was. I do not think I will ever be able to forgive myself: you see, when you see how much I wanted you, then how impossibly I hurt you, it becomes too much for a heart to bear, and mostly I want to stay isolated and alone, protecting my heart from ever hurting again. Please know I would do anything, ANYTHING, to make amends to you. I am so sorry for doing what I thought was "right" over what I knew was wrong. Darling Girl, I beg your forgiveness. If I only knew if you could and would forgive me. Help me to heal my heart which hurts so much. Help me to know how to heal the innocent heart I broke so long ago. Forgive me, darling child, please forgive me. Love, Mama

I WAS CHOQUED WHEN I READ THE POST FROM THE PERSON WHO WROTE ON 28TH BECAUSE I FEEL YOU COULD BE MY SON TO WHOM THIS HAPPENED WHEN HE WAS A CHILD AND NOW HE CARRIES ALL THE PAIN YOU MENTIONED. THEREFORE I APOLOGIZE I APOLIGIZE I APOLOGIZE FOR HURTING YOU ALTHOUGH YOU MIGHT BE NOT MY SON.