Apologies

February 7, 2011 11:58 am Compassion: 184   

I apologize for using this site and then cancelling my membership before having it billed to my credit card. I apologize for not realizing soon enough the sincerity and givingness you folks offer. I apologize for any mistrust or skepticism I had of you before seeing your commitment to helping people (me) free myself from my suffering, free myself via forgiveness of myself for that which I have done to hurt myself by hurting others. I apologize in advance for all that I will do because I am not aware, not awake. I apologize to myself when I realize my errors. I apologize for maybe brushing it off, not really feeling the feeling of the pain it causes me, not staying with it until it dissolves. I apologize for misunderstanding so much that is/was intended only for my highest good. I apologize for my stubbornness to be right, to analyze and try to justify, to look for the 'hook' in people. I apologize for not just staying in my own business. I apologize for all the judgments. I apologize to my sister for the rift that I MUST HAVE caused, yet still remains unconscious to me. I apologize for burying it. I apologize for blaming her ~ focusing on her 'sins' against me ~ always trying to make her wrong. Sure, to the world it may look justified. She has lied to me, stolen from me, etc. etc. But when have I lied to her, stolen from her? I apologize for all the conscious and unconscious ways in which I have hurt her, in my thoughts, in my deeds, in my NOT supporting her, in my not explaining to her why and how I could not continue to participate in that which was unhealthy for me and seemed to me to be unhealthy for her. I apologize for being too dependent on her, living my life through her because that seemed easier than finding my own true path. I apologize to her for my jealousy of her successes and my secret (not-so-secret) pleasure in her failures and pain. I apologize for any vindictiveness I have felt. I apologize for the years of misunderstandings. I apologize for not seeing it all as perfect ~ the dance of life. Thank you, Ondrea, and bless you a thousand-fold for the commitment and intention you exhibit in offering people an opportunity to find peace through meditation, forgiveness of self. Your life practice of paying attention to what is, seeking deeper and deeper ways of facilitating folks in peeling the layers is inspirational. The attention you and Stephen pay towards even a little grain of sand is remarkable. The respect you have for the process, what it takes and the time it takes to open to ourselves truly humbles me. I wish you continuing peace and joy.

February 7, 2011 11:57 am Compassion: 234   

I apologize to myself for abandoning myself, such a very long time ago.

February 7, 2011 11:57 am Compassion: 191   

For now, in this immediate moment, having just seen this apology page for the first time, I bow my head to the feet of all those beautiful souls I have tried to love, who wanted my love and who deserved my love and who I let down because I failed to love you in every way you wanted. I saw the exquisiteness of your souls and how you deserved pure love. I could only love you to my best ability at the time and within that, sometimes I caused you pain which was always my greatest pain. I am so so sorry and my tears flow for you. All I can do is love you unconditionally from afar. Forever I love you like this. Forever I love you. Thank you Ondrea x

February 7, 2011 11:56 am Compassion: 192   

Right now, I apologize to my deeper self... to that dark, quiet, hidden self whose connection and love and trust and strong current of faith that I have nurtured and encouraged for so many years.... for having to take this job right now, after so many years of deprivation and financial failure and lack. I am so sorry that it feels so wrong and so hard and so compromising and for not having the courage or the resiliency or the skills or to be able or willing to stand in the face of "whatever it takes" to find a way to break through into the manifestation of meeting, head on, that which I most truly want and most deeply need right now. I am sorry that this is the best that I can do right now and it so clearly is not enough. Please forgive me and help me find a way to let it be OK, just for now, for a way to say yes to this too... the pain, the scarcity, the crumbling of the image of one who can adequately help myself. I am sorry; pleas forgive me. xj

February 7, 2011 11:56 am Compassion: 208   

I want to apologize to my x-husbands, Robert and David. I know that they loved me and in choosing to end these relationships, I disappointed and hurt them greatly.

February 7, 2011 11:55 am Compassion: 208   

Dear Susan, I'm deeply sorry that I was unable to handle the mounting stressors in our lives in ways that might have allowed us to manage our life together more skillfully. It remains a deep regret. Love, Mark

February 7, 2011 11:54 am Compassion: 257   

I made a mistake. It was a difficult time in my life, 30 years ago and you were helpless, a dog and I should have taken better care. I knew you were ill and I sadly left you for too long before taking yopu to the vet. I still see this as the worst thing I have done. I You had young puppies, just born and I left you there. It still haunts me, please forgive me. I left it for 2 to 3 days because ............ I have no real excuse and you died. I am really really sorry.Your puppies died because they had no mother. We tried for a wet nurse but nothing worked. I still am not able to forgive myself but I saw life differently then. I send you love and light, heart and peace and God willing we will reconnect in the heart oneday.

February 7, 2011 11:52 am Compassion: 197   

Don't like to harm animals, but i will be eating some pizza tonight. I do hope the cow was treated with respect!