I'm sorry I did not just recognize you were a deluded liar who betrayed my trust and that in this you are as much a victim of your deceptions as anyone else. I'm sorry I allowed what appeared to be your complete lack of empathy to drive me insane when I should have taken it as a sign to let go. I'm sorry I needed you to recognize my suffering. I'm sorry I waited for an apology from someone who had done nothing wrong. I'm sorry I preserved your memory with hatred and judgement instead of a deeper understanding. I'm sorry I let my bitterness lead me to believe that life was essentially meaningless and to forget that we are all one person beneath appearances. In doing so I have betrayed myself and us as much if not more than you could have betrayed me. I thank you for helping me to learn the value of honesty and true compassion through the experience of their opposites and that any damage is mine to repair with love and work.

to reach the point of wishing to send an apology, I have had to live through the anger of feeling misunderstood and abused. Now it begins to dawn on me that all along there has been a way to reach a different relationship with others in my life, one not based on my pain but on recognition of our shared and precious reality. It is not necessary to hold the world at arm's length, and with it, the comprehension of others' suffering. I apologize to all those on whom I have made petty judgements, and against whom I have held grudges. I apologize for inviting men into relationships that do not reflect a real love. I apologize to my mother and father for thinking of their behavior more than of what they gave me in this life. I apologize to my sisters, who have lived difficult lives, and whom I have often denied love because I was afraid to open up. I apologize to my children for having had to bear my display of theatrical pain, and to my ex-husband for frightening him and making his life hard when he was trying to be loving to me. I apologize to my friends for expecting too much of them. And I apologize to myself because I have often not honored that which is divine within me. Thank you for giving me this opportunity.

I am sorry I kicked Bandit. He squeaked. I am sorry that Sarah died.

I apologize to my husband for holding the mistakes he made earlier in our marriage, over his head. I want to forgive him and me for our lack of skill in loving ourselves and each other. I apologize to myself for withholding the love that was given by others, as I believed myself to be unworthy.

I apologize to my loving mother and father for taking drugs and wasting time so much in my life which has made you watch me suffer deeply in your own home and has in a sense disconnected our personal connections and broken our hearts. I'm sorry my pain may not go away right away I do not understand why I am so overwhelmed with fear and why I am afraid it won't go away. May you be connected with infinite beauty, love, and joy. I am deeply sorry and I may be back to let out more sad and sort out more thoughts.

I am sorry to Ajahn Punnadhammo for stealing food out of the refridgerator on retreat. You don't deserve that nonsense, you are a smart person who would understand if I had asked to eat some more food because this was my first retreat.

I apologize to my beloved sister who was killed 40 years ago. I loved you so desperately and so much and I didn't even know it. But you didn't leave me, you've stayed with me these years, offering guidance, helping me to eventually connect to the sweet love of this creation that neither of us could find in our family. When I'm in the ocean of being you're right with me, smiling. I apologize for your last day. I should have stayed. I knew you were depressed. I should have stayed. Endless blessings my sweet, sweet wonderful sister. Both of us "came into our own" through heartbreak. It's amazing how divine love surrounds heartbreak.

I am sorry for not being my own source of love and support.

I am sorry for the extent to which I have hung onto the pain from my past. I wish I had put more energy into giving out rather than concentrating on my need. I apologize to myself and others for my inability to forgive my family. I ask for prayers/thoughts from others that I can let go of the bitterness.

I want to apologize for all the unskillful ways I have carried wounding from my abusive family. I apologize for all the times I failed and betrayed myself and others, so full of longing, unconscious fear and anger born from the neglect, betrayals and the emotional and physical violence I experienced in childhood. I apologize to myself and acknowledge my negative emotions that drove me to achieve, behave in ways contrary to to my true nature, and to be falsely kind or good in order to please my parents and others to be ?worthy of love? or arrogantly ?better? than others. This all was based in the fear that if I did not do this, I would be punished and alone. I am the love I thought I needed from my parents and struggled so desperately to feel worthy to receive. I am grateful to be able to see clearly this and truly open my heart to myself and others. Thank you Stephen and Ondrea for your work, witnessing and love.

I am sorry for the ways in which I treated my family, friends and husbands badly. I know that I have hurt their feelings many times over, causing some of them to sever ties with me. I am sorry for the ways that I have replayed rejection, pain, confusion, put-downs in their lives, instead of being the vehicle for forgiveness, uplifting, restoration, love and joy. I am very human. I've never wanted to be other than human and yet I regret so many of my hurtful actions.

I realize I want an apology to me from abusive family. From the hurt and pain of isolation, from the unskilled parents and from the selfish cousins, and aunts and uncles > How remarkable it is to come to this moment. usually, i would write what I apologize for--to myself, to others, for the world's necessity to remember goodness. So today, embracing myself " as if I were my only child, " as Stephen says... I want an apology that I will never get. How wonderful to nuture, to give permission to this and to move on with an open heart as I can. Thank you always for your gifts. Much love.

Dear ...... I am so sorry that I hurt your open heart. Your heart appears to have been closed ever since. If I had been more mature/evolved/understanding I would not have been so demanding. I wonder what would happen, if it all happened again, now... You have been my only true love. xxx

I apologize to my dear mom for any pain I caused her. Mom, I always knew you were doing the best you could & you loved us all deeply. I did the best I could to help you pass with love & peace. I hope you can feel my love wherever you are. I miss you so much.

My Dear Unborn Girl, I wanted so much to apologize to you that I interrupted the joy of your conception and my dreams of becoming your mum, you being born, growing, experiencing the world, and becoming a person. I was so afraid, so unsure of myself, so moored in my fear and my past that it overshadowed the joy and the gift of becoming your mum. It's been so many years now. I tend to forget that for 2 months I had a child. I live my life, I sometimes struggle, sometimes I enjoy it. I sometimes recall what did not happen, and in the deepest compassionate moment I lived through last week, I felt all this pain of giving up on you. I wanted to apologize to you for thinking you did not happen. You did happen. I apologize for not being able to believe in myself of not believing in you to bring yourself to the world. I hold you in my heart as my first child. The beauty that I did not come to know. I love you. Please apologize to me. You mum

I apologize for saying that I would respect your opinion as my mentor and live under your guidance and by your allowances and then taking my own route in marrying someone that you made clear to me that you disapproved of - rather than just living with what you thought I should do. I made the agreement/covenant to abide by your governance and then married someone that I chose to marry with no regard for your opinion. I apologize for making such a covenant with you and then breaking it. I ask in love for you to please forgive me and release me.

Dear Mother, I am so sorry that I have discounted you as my mother because you were distant or emotionally unavailable and what I considered to be "mean" and hurtful. Who am I to judge you. I don't know you very well, therefore, I can't say what made you the way you were. I suspect things now that I am an adult, things that may have happened to you, bad things, but I was just a child then so what do children know. If I disappointed you I am sorry. If I was in your way and a burden I am sorry. Children innocently "are" those things and don't realize until they get to be adults that you were just unable to handle the burden of your little girl. That's all it was, just your fragility. I hope you are stronger and more durable where you are now. And I hope that flowers bloom for you there. You didn't mean to or plan to ruin my life. You just couldn't help yourself. See my tears and forgive me as I now forgive you - finally, finally. Love, Your Daughter All Grown Up

I apologize for being cruel to individuals that did not deserve my anger. All my life I have tried to be caring and loving to others, but two days ago I caused pain for individuals that did not deserve it. I was so hurt with a comment made by an individual that I went as low as bringing up the persons past. I also made another person angry by association without thinking of the consequences I had done. I have never done something like that in my life. I was just so angry. I have apologized to one of them, but I believe my ugliness has caused tension that should not have happened in the first place. Whether they take my apology is up to them. If they do not wish to forgive me, I totally understand and take full responsibility for my actions. I am not a cruel person and I always try to fix mistakes that I have done, however I will only make the situation worse if try to intervene. Further, I must never let my emotions bring my ugliness out. I am sorry for all that I have done.

I apologize for saying I was pregnant when I wasn't and ruining your soul. There was no consequence to me then, but the pain is almost unbearable now. Forgive me. I did not know we would marry so many years later, and I would have that lie hang over my head.

I apologize for giving care freely, yet becoming angry and hurt, when I was/am not recognized/compensated(not speaking financially) for it. I realized I conveyed this to the person for whom I was caring, but had a hard time putting on the breaks. I will work on it and hope to forgive myself for not acting in a more selfless way.