Apologies
We have had this project in mind for years. As we look at it now, it seems to be a very good idea as a means for tilting the shared heart and letting it pour into the ocean of compassion. If you were told you were completely forgiven for everything you have ever done, what is it in the heart that rejects that self mercy? Treasure Yourselves
Love, Ondrea & Stephen
March 30, 2011 03:45 pm
Compassion: 86
I apologize to men for spending so much of my life being afraid of you and ashamed of my own confusions and fears - so I pretended I was clear and strong, and that only deepened my fears in the long run. I apologize for believing that it was you who held the key to my own happiness, and all of the manipulation, resentment and animosity that naturally followed. I apologize for not really seeing your tender loving innocence all of these many years. I really do want to trust you, I just haven't known how. I'm learning more about that every day.
March 30, 2011 03:18 pm
Compassion: 85
I send an apology out to the man who adores me in spite of my behavior. I apologize to myself for failing to treasure him and myself and for getting so wrapped up in doings rather than beings.
March 30, 2011 02:14 pm
Compassion: 86
I am so sorry that I spent my life in hiding by being fat. I wouldn't do the things that other mothers did because I was afraid my association with you would be embarressing for you and make your lives worse. I am so sorry that I rarely emerged from my cocoon of fat by getting thin, so that I could do activities with you and enjoy you when you were young. I am so so sorry that even though I loved you so much and I think you felt that love you were still alone. I am so sorry that I fell asleep early every night with my younger son which made my older son feel alone and emotionally abandoned.I am so sorry that I fell into a depression when your father left me pregnant and because of this I gained weight and wasn't there for you both as much as I should have been. I am so sorry that I spent so many years mourning your fathers departures instead of being present for the greatest gifts-that of my children that were right in front of me. I'm so sorry that I didn't get over my childhood abuse. When my father tried to sleep with me to punish my mother when I was a teenage I got fat. I was normal. I am sorry that I have not been able to emerge from this core wound and let it affect all the rest of my life. I have spent so much of my life regretting my inability to get over this original pain, that someone who was supposed to love me wanted to hurt me. I could stand the beatings and verbal abuse but when my dad crossed the sexual line I broke. It was just once, and it wasn't all the way or anything, but over the summer after it happened I gained 50 lbs and went from being beautiful to being fat. I am sorry that I let this one incident remain unhealed and cause all these problems for those that I loved. I am also sorry that I couldn't forgive you Mom for letting him hit me. I am sorry that I brought it up over the years and made you feel bad. I just wanted you to protect me and when I saw the emotional mess I became after years under the care of you and Dad that affected me now I wanted to blame you for my current problems. I am sorry for not being able to heal my wounds so I could live life and not hide in my porta prison. I am sorry I couldn't love myself and instead abandoned myself and I'm sorry that this affected the childhoods of my dearest beloved children and the old age of my beloved mother. I am sorry that I let one incident in time radiate out- I am sorry that I can't rewind my life and do it again as a stronger and more loving person. I am sorry I wasn't here for so much of my own life.
March 28, 2011 02:35 pm
Compassion: 86
i am sorry for not being the child my parents wanted.i tried for many years to change my personlity,but of course it never worked. Now i am trying to forgive myself for thinking it was all me. I am trying to love and forgive myself for who i am and not need to be different. the Levines said that many of the people go into the world looking for their "true" family. A family that loves us "as is" and accepts us "as we are" and still finds us WORTHY OF LOVE
March 28, 2011 02:22 pm
Compassion: 86
I apologize to my neighbours for not talking to them directly about something that bothered me. Instead, I was complaining to a third person about it and expected him to solve the problem for me. I was lacking the courage. It is still so hard to find the courage to do that because I am afraid of not finding the appropriate words or ???.
March 28, 2011 12:04 pm
Compassion: 86
i am so sorry to my beloved dog who i had to put down for behavior that i thought was dangerous.Now i found i was wrong and i could have gotten a trainer.I feel so much guilt and never realized how much i loved her until she was gone. i pray for her every day to forgive me. The levine's said sometimes we will have a dream that is realer than most and it a message from thoses we love saying they are ok and they love us.
March 28, 2011 11:27 am
Compassion: 88
I apologzie to you my beloved pet rabbit that you had to live with me while I was severely depressed. I am so very sorry for not having cared for you appropriately. Please forgive me. I bow in front of you out of deep respect.
March 22, 2011 03:29 pm
Compassion: 86
pop i am sorry for not knowing you were in the hospital and dieing. I am also sorry for being so very very mad at my brother for not telling me so i could come and be with you. .I know you wouldn't want me to stay angry but it may take a while for me to forgive. you tried so hard to be a good dad and i will try to live up to your generous heart.
March 22, 2011 02:44 pm
Compassion: 88
With this I apologize to my ex husband for fighting him, for wanting to change him, for wanting to be the better parent, for not having understanding for his situation. For blaming him and feeling like the victim and for giving him the authority to make me suffer. For manipulating him. For making him the enemy and not seeing his own pain and suffering. I apologize to my son, for not knowing better how to raise him, for my helplessness, my incompetence and stubbornness. For acting out my own childhood suffering and yelling at him. For not seeing him through eyes of kindness. For believing he was against me. For not letting him go. For not having trust in speaking gently, in parenting without pressure and force. For oppressing him with my suffering. For not seeing him. For not loving him, for wishing I had never had him. For being angry with him for being as he is. For being embarrassed about him. For passing on so much pain and drama and confusion to him. For not giving him enough security and stability. For being so ignorant and arrogant. For not seeing his suffering and pain.I apologize to myself for not being a good enough mother to myself. For not loving myself. For being so unforgiving and causing myself suffering. For punishing myself with guilt and not letting myself live free and happy in spite of all my imperfections and wrong doings. I apologize to my parents for using the old story as a reason to suffer. I apologize for my ignorance and my not trusting. For wanting to change everybody and everything. I apologize to God for wandering again and again so far and give so much love and thanks that beneath all there is trust and love and that no matter what, it is there. Astonishingly and heart breaking, trust is there. Namaste.
March 22, 2011 02:00 pm
Compassion: 86
With this I apologize to my ex husband for fighting him, for wanting to change him, for wanting to be the better parent, for not having understanding for his situation. For blaming him and feeling like the victim and for giving him the authority to make me suffer. For manipulating him. For making him the enemy and not seeing his own pain and suffering. I apologize to my son, for not knowing better how to raise him, for my helplessness, my incompetence and stubbornness. For acting out my own childhood suffering and yelling at him. For not seeing him through eyes of kindness. For believing he was against me. For not letting him go. For not having trust in speaking gently, in parenting without pressure and force. For oppressing him with my suffering. For not seeing him. For not loving him, for wishing I had never had him. For being angry with him for being as he is. For being embarrassed about him. For passing on so much pain and drama and confusion to him. For not giving him enough security and stability. For being so ignorant and arrogant. For not seeing his suffering and pain.I apologize to myself for not being a good enough mother to myself. For not loving myself. For being so unforgiving and causing myself suffering. For punishing myself with guilt and not letting myself live free and happy in spite of all my imperfections and wrong doings. I apologize to my parents for using the old story as a reason to suffer. I apologize for my ignorance and my not trusting. For wanting to change everybody and everything. I apologize to God for wandering again and again so far and give so much love and thanks that beneath all there is trust and love and that no matter what, it is there. Astonishingly and heart breaking, trust is there. Namaste.
March 5, 2011 02:30 pm
Compassion: 86
I am sorry for coming to my relationships with unbearably high expectations and for interpreting loved ones' mistakes, oversights, forgetfulness and just plain humanity as a betrayal. I am sorry for hardening my heart and holding grudges. I want to learn more and more how to look at the people around me through the eyes of the heart. Boundaries are important but unconditional regard through the eyes of the heart is so crucial!
March 4, 2011 01:26 pm
Compassion: 86
I apologize to my maker and to myself for not appreciating me, for seeing everything wrong. I am sorry for not understanding how to love myself. I am sorry to my beautiful step-children for not taking you in as my own. I am sorry dear spirit, for failing in your offering to me. I apologize for being so ignorant, and causing so much suffering. I am sorry for not knowing how to awaken. I am so sorry that I do not love myself.
March 3, 2011 12:42 pm
Compassion: 86
I apologize to my daughter for striking her when she was 17 months old.I am sorry for all forms of disallowing and non-seeing that I have communicated to my heart and to the world.
March 3, 2011 12:42 pm
Compassion: 86
I'm sorry I didn't listen when he said: "If I were you, I would leave me". Instead I stayed, 8 years. I'm sorry I beat myself up for staying. He said: "It's like I'm in a dark room, swinging a sword, then someone turns on the light and I see blood and body parts of the people I love all around me." I"m sorry I thought this was a turning point. I'm sorry I bled; I wish I could have left sooner. I'm sorry I kept turning on the light -- sometimes gently, sometimes not so gently. I'm sorry for the times I lost my compassion. Ultimately, I'm sorry I didn't listen to my inner voice, which warned me twice not to marry him. It caused us so much suffering. I'm sorry we will never speak again; the only way to be safe. Thank you, Ondrea.
February 28, 2011 12:37 pm
Compassion: 86
I am sorry for the unkind feelings I've felt for a woman I don't even know personally. I have experienced a beloved's pain around this woman and I've formed judgement and disregard of her. I am sorry for any and all unkindness I've displayed to those who love and care for me. I am sorry to my dog who is now in doggie heaven for my 'impatient being' with his behavior and antics. I am sorry to myself for any and all forms of disregard I've experienced as a result of my lack of compassion.
February 28, 2011 11:41 am
Compassion: 85
I apologize for being a drug addict. I apologize to all of the patients I stole pain medication from, while I was working high and giving you aspirin or tylenol for your pain after open heart surgery. I have been clean and sober for 1 year and 10 months now, and I have a living amends to these patients every day for the rest of my life.
February 28, 2011 11:37 am
Compassion: 85
I apologize to my exhusband for not seeing him better. I realize that I did the best that I could..and that I needed to feel love from him in a particular way to feel that his love was real. I'm sorry that I hurt you so and perhaps made you feel incapable of love. I'm sorry that I had an affair and for the pain that this caused you. I'm sorry that we couldn't stay together. I wish you well. I love you.
February 25, 2011 02:37 pm
Compassion: 85
I apologize to my Self for having to be perfect. To that self that holds on to the fear of being alone I ask you to please surrender and know that you are ok. I apologize for all the unskillful actions that have come from holding on to that fear that I didn't even know was there. May I have compassion for myself as I see the fear for what it is and allow the tears to flow and my heart to melt into its true nature. The one that it has taken birth for. I apologize to my Self each day as a way of remembering that I can forget the need to hold on to the illusion of me making it safe and perfect and release more into the flow of "being" rather than trying to control what is out of my control. I send this apology out to all sentient beings, the planet and the great mystery. I am sorry for not honoring my deep connection to you all and the love that radiates all. Thank you
February 25, 2011 11:50 am
Compassion: 85
i apologize to my big sister for not being a better sister to her. i apologize for all the family dysfunction: i figure if i can see it and name it, i'm the one who ought to apologize for all of it. i ask for mercy for our family, i ask for mercy for my sister and i pray that the great compassionate heart that holds us all, will heal the past and offer renewal in the present.
February 25, 2011 11:48 am
Compassion: 84
My most precious Beloved Mother. I know that in the end everything was okay...that we both melted in to the Great Love that is...that your last days were peaceful...that we knew we loved each other deeply. Yet I just want to say I am sorry that I was not able to be stronger. That my caregiving was indeed too much for me and I could have gotten help sooner. I am so grateful to you that inspite of no "formal" spiritual practice, in many ways you were far more "spiritual" than I. I am sorry that I could not stay with you the night after your surgery. I was sick and had to rest. I am just sorry that I didn't realize how incredible wonderful you are until the last few weeks. That I didn't realize just how deep our love was and is. I love you forever my Beloved.